Focus On What You Want Versus What You Don’t Want

By Molly Rae Benoit-Leach MSW RSW RYT
Published: August 28, 2019
Key Takeaways

The more you focus on a particular thing, the more that you bring that very thing into your life. Here’s how the law of attraction can help you bring more positivity into your life.

Source: Matheus Ferrero

I recently began reading the book “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. This book focuses on the law of attraction and how it works.


So far, the biggest takeaway I can see is something I want to share with all of you – the value of focusing on what you want instead of what you don’t want.

In this article, I present drafts about the law of attraction, how the universe interprets your thoughts and words, and the science behind programming your brain to create more of what you want.


What is the Law of Attraction?

The law of attraction is actually pretty simple. Its premise is that like attracts like.

The more you focus on a particular thing, the more that you bring that very thing into your life.

You may have noticed subtle ways that the law of attraction already shows up in your life, or you may have written off each individual circumstance as a coincidence.


I’m here to argue there are no coincidences.

A great example is when you think of a friend, and they suddenly call or text you. It may seem like a coincidence, or even a spooky one time event. This is actually the law of attraction at work.

All thoughts carry a vibration, and the entire universe in undeniably interlinked.

Your thoughts about your friend goes out into the universe, reaches them, and has an effect on them – whether or not they are conscious of it.

As more discoveries progress in the world on quantum psychics, it has become clear that human thought impacts the way reality actually manifests. (Learn more in Manifest Success With These 5 Yoga Virtues.)

Use Only Confirmations, No Negations

The universe does not understand negation. You can put “not” or “no” in front of a thought, but the thought will still carry the vibration of the thing you are negating.

This is arguably the most important thing to remember about the law of attraction.

A great example shows up for people when they are budgeting money. Existing within a scarcity mentality by focusing on all of the unpaid debts, bills, and ruminating on the less than favorable bank account balance is focusing on your lack of money.

Really, you want to focus on an abundance of money.

Although it may seem counterintuitive for someone who does not have a lot of money, they will find benefit from shifting their mentality to focusing on the things they do have.

When it comes to money specifically, it is important to be thinking that the money you desire is already on its way to you (or even thinking what it feels like to know that it’s already here in your bank account) creates the vibration you really want to be attracting: abundance.

This does not mean to spend recklessly, but instead to shift the feeling inside to match the desired external state.

With money, this is often a feeling of safety and security. If you can create that state internally, you can manifest and attract the money externally. If you stay in the state of fear about scarcity, that it what you will attract. (Learn more in .)

When focusing on attracting what you want you must focus on what you do want.

A great exercise to get started on this is to allow yourself to list what you don’t want first, and from there create a list of what you do want. Then, throw away the “don’t want” list and begin to only focus on what you do want.

This can be applied to your personal, professional, and love life.

When focusing on what you want, you can really get into what that would feel like. By creating those feelings internally, you will attract it into your life externally.

Rewiring The Brain

Neuroscience teaches us that the brain is malleable and plastic. This means that even people with the most challenging mental habits are capable of changing them. (Learn more in .)

It is more challenging to change when you are in the same environment that supported the non-desirable thoughts and behaviors.

This is seen with people who struggle with substance abuse; when removed from the environment that supports their substance abuse, they are typically better able to stop. When they are back in the environment, they are more likely to be triggered to revert back to old behaviors, and therefore creating thoughts of negation by thinking things like “I can’t use this substance” or telling themselves “don’t do it.”

Your environment does make a difference when it comes to rewiring the brain, but that is only because it may trigger thoughts like these that do not ultimately support change.

Instead, if you focus the mind on what you do want to be doing, you are more likely to create new neural pathways to support that.

When we have thoughts that are angry, self-pitying, or come from a victim mentality, we tend to create that reality around us. We scan our experience for information to match our internal state (like attracts like).

You can train the brain to be more optimistic, loving, and grateful through practice. Removing yourself from an environment, at least temporarily, may be helpful, but not always completely necessary. (Learn more in .)

If you can create a daily habit of repeating the new and more desirable thoughts or affirmations, you can create new neural pathways and habit patterns of the mind.

As you create more thoughts that are in alignment with who you want to be and how you want to think, you will attract more people, situations, and things that align with those thoughts.

Soon, your mind won’t notice as many things that you perceive as undesirable because it is no longer primed to look for them. Instead, your mind is primed to find the beautiful and desirable parts of life.

All Day, Every Day

Use the law of attraction in every moment of your life.

If you catch yourself complaining to a friend, ask yourself how you can flip the complaint into affirming what you want or need that is not currently being given to you.

Allow yourself to feel every emotion, while also appreciating how getting stuck in the mentality of “lack” can be counterproductive.

The law of attraction requires some patience, and it can come into action in your life pretty quickly once you have faith and commit to using it.

Focus on what you want and create more of it in your life.

If you notice yourself off track, that is okay. Old patterns can be challenging to let go of, especially in times of stress and change. Refocus and let go of what no longer serves you.

Create the reality you want for yourself.

During These Times of Stress and Uncertainty Your Doshas May Be Unbalanced.

To help you bring attention to your doshas and to identify what your predominant dosha is, we created the following quiz.

Try not to stress over every question, but simply answer based off your intuition. After all, you know yourself better than anyone else.

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Molly Rae Benoit-Leach MSW RSW RYT

Molly Rae Benoit-Leach MSW RSW RYT is a psychotherapist, yoga teacher, writer, musician, lover and fur-mama. She is passionate about yoga and mindfulness practices as tools for self-care and mental health. She is currently living on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada providing counselling and yoga services in person and online. Molly can be reached through and [email protected].

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